STORY OF A SURVIVOR |DEPRESSION (John Folk-Williams)
Be Here,
You are present, not here
We laughed , I drifted
We spoke , you couldn't hear me
We walked , i was alone
I am in pain and in it I walk deeper
I know and don't know
You look and don't see
You hear and don't listen
We were full of words, I was beyond the point of emptiness
I said I am ok , you said ok
I will return I said ,I was gone and was not found.
Depression is a mood disorder that involves a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. It is different from the mood fluctuations that people regularly experience as a part of life.https://www.curablehealth.com/courses/depression-p?gclid=Cj0KCQiAhojzBRC3ARIsAGtNtHV5MQ_0KnM4xkv6IkGpN-MFiYMrwL92sXiO3kDMj2cqe80xlzX1690aAmPgEALw_wcB
Major life events, such as bereavement or the loss of a job, can lead to depression. However, doctors only consider feelings of grief to be part of depression if they persist.
Depression is an ongoing problem, not a passing one. It consists of episodes during which the symptoms last for at least 2 weeks. Depression can last for several weeks, months, or years.
A person with a parent or sibling who has depression is two-to-three times more likely than the general public to develop the condition.
However, many people with depression have no family history of it. A recent study suggests that susceptibility to depression may not result from genetic variation. The researchers acknowledge that while depression could be inherited, many other issues also influence its development.
No darkness lasts forever. And even there, there are stars. Ursula K. Le Guin (The Farthest Shore)
Here is a life changing story of an inspiring survivor John Folk-Williams.
A recovery story is a messy thing. It has dozens of beginnings and no final ending. Most of the conflict and drama is internal, and there’s a lot more inaction than action. The lead character hides in the shadows much of the time, so you can’t even see what’s going on. https://choosemuse.com/blog/how-meditation-increases-emotional-intelligence-leadership-potential-2/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&gclid=Cj0KCQiAhojzBRC3ARIsAGtNtHXWRKjb-zZfaINXwo2FHwY5Ovs_MiDkKI-OeIlfUEllReGEUNQpMKoaAvsIEALw_wcB
I joined up with depression around the age of 8. There are snapshots of me in the shabby brown jacket I liked to wear. My mom took beautiful photographs, and there are lots of me in moody shadows, looking as down as could be.
She had her own depression to worry about. My typical memory of her from that time brings back a couch-bound, often napping, mother. She explained her sleep problem as a condition she called knockophasia – a term I’ve never been able to find in any dictionary. A few minutes after lying down, snap! Sound asleep. No one mentioned strange emotional problems or mental illness in those days. My parents occasionally talked about someone having a nervous breakdown as if they had died. There was no hint of a need to get help for my mother, much less for me. No one worried about me since I was a star in school, self-contained and impressive to teachers for being so mature, so adult.
Migraine headaches started then, and increasingly intense anxiety about school. I missed many days, felt shame as if I were faking, and obsessed over every one of my failings. I spent long hours alone in my room.
Through my teenage years, depression went underground. Feelings were dangerous. There were too many angry and violent ones shaking the house for me to add to them. So I kept emotion under wraps, even more so than in childhood. Nothing phased me outside the house and even at home I showed almost no sign of reaction to anything, even while churning with fear and anguish.
It was in my 20s that I broke open, and streams of depression, fear, panic, obsessive love and anger flowed out. In response to a panic attack that lasted for a week, I saw a psychiatrist. In one marathon session of 3 hours he helped me put the panic together with frightening episodes from my family life. I was cured on the spot but never went back to him. It was too soon to do any more.
It took another crisis a few years later to get me back to a psychiatrist and my first experience with medication – Elavil. But I had no idea what it was. I took something in the morning to get me going and something at night to help me sleep. I took it short term, got through the crisis but continued in therapy. From there I was steadily seeing psychiatrists in various cities for the next 8 years. But no one mentioned depression.
which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.
I first saw the word applied to my condition in a letter one psychiatrist wrote to the draft board during the Vietnam era. But I wasn’t treated for that problem. Therapy in those days was still in the Freudian tradition, and it was all about family life and conflict. Depression was a springboard for going deeper. Digging up the past to understand present problems was a tremendous help, and it changed me in many ways. But depression was still there in various forms, reappearing regularly for the next couple of decades. There were wonderfully happy and successful times as well, but I had these ups and downs through marriage, children and a couple of careers. https://pirevolution.blogspot.com/2020/03/story-of-survivor-depression-part-1.html?m=1
Gradually, depression became so disruptive that my wife couldn’t take it anymore and demanded I get help. So I finally did. This was the 1990s. Prozac had arrived, and I started a tour of medication over the next dozen years that didn’t do much at all. Nor did therapy, though two psychiatrists helped me to understand the more destructive patterns in my way of living.
Depression pushed into every corner of my existence, and both work and family life became more and more difficult. The medications only seemed to deaden my feelings and make me feel detached from everyone and immune to every pressure. It was like having pain signals turned off. There was no longer any sign coming from my body or brain that something might be wrong. I felt “fine” but relationships and work still went to hell.
The strange thing was that after all these years of living with it, I didn’t know very much about depression. I thought it was entirely a problem of depressed mood and loss of the energy and motivation. As things got worse, I finally started to read about it in great depth.
You are strong. You are beautiful. You are resilient. You are loved. You are capable. You are not weak. You are not defected. You are not weird. You are not a lost cause. You are not different.
CONTINUE READING STORY OF A SURVIVOR EPISODE 2
Drop a comment and share, you will not know whose life will be inspired. We appreciate your feedback. Thank you! https://pirevolution.blogspot.com/?m=1
Story of a survivor |
You are present, not here
We laughed , I drifted
We spoke , you couldn't hear me
We walked , i was alone
I am in pain and in it I walk deeper
I know and don't know
You look and don't see
You hear and don't listen
We were full of words, I was beyond the point of emptiness
I said I am ok , you said ok
I will return I said ,I was gone and was not found.
Depression is a mood disorder that involves a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. It is different from the mood fluctuations that people regularly experience as a part of life.https://www.curablehealth.com/courses/depression-p?gclid=Cj0KCQiAhojzBRC3ARIsAGtNtHV5MQ_0KnM4xkv6IkGpN-MFiYMrwL92sXiO3kDMj2cqe80xlzX1690aAmPgEALw_wcB
Major life events, such as bereavement or the loss of a job, can lead to depression. However, doctors only consider feelings of grief to be part of depression if they persist.
Depression |
A person with a parent or sibling who has depression is two-to-three times more likely than the general public to develop the condition.
However, many people with depression have no family history of it. A recent study suggests that susceptibility to depression may not result from genetic variation. The researchers acknowledge that while depression could be inherited, many other issues also influence its development.
No darkness lasts forever. And even there, there are stars. Ursula K. Le Guin (The Farthest Shore)
Here is a life changing story of an inspiring survivor John Folk-Williams.
A recovery story is a messy thing. It has dozens of beginnings and no final ending. Most of the conflict and drama is internal, and there’s a lot more inaction than action. The lead character hides in the shadows much of the time, so you can’t even see what’s going on. https://choosemuse.com/blog/how-meditation-increases-emotional-intelligence-leadership-potential-2/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&gclid=Cj0KCQiAhojzBRC3ARIsAGtNtHXWRKjb-zZfaINXwo2FHwY5Ovs_MiDkKI-OeIlfUEllReGEUNQpMKoaAvsIEALw_wcB
I joined up with depression around the age of 8. There are snapshots of me in the shabby brown jacket I liked to wear. My mom took beautiful photographs, and there are lots of me in moody shadows, looking as down as could be.
She had her own depression to worry about. My typical memory of her from that time brings back a couch-bound, often napping, mother. She explained her sleep problem as a condition she called knockophasia – a term I’ve never been able to find in any dictionary. A few minutes after lying down, snap! Sound asleep. No one mentioned strange emotional problems or mental illness in those days. My parents occasionally talked about someone having a nervous breakdown as if they had died. There was no hint of a need to get help for my mother, much less for me. No one worried about me since I was a star in school, self-contained and impressive to teachers for being so mature, so adult.
Migraine headaches started then, and increasingly intense anxiety about school. I missed many days, felt shame as if I were faking, and obsessed over every one of my failings. I spent long hours alone in my room.
Depression | PIREVOLUTION |
It was in my 20s that I broke open, and streams of depression, fear, panic, obsessive love and anger flowed out. In response to a panic attack that lasted for a week, I saw a psychiatrist. In one marathon session of 3 hours he helped me put the panic together with frightening episodes from my family life. I was cured on the spot but never went back to him. It was too soon to do any more.
It took another crisis a few years later to get me back to a psychiatrist and my first experience with medication – Elavil. But I had no idea what it was. I took something in the morning to get me going and something at night to help me sleep. I took it short term, got through the crisis but continued in therapy. From there I was steadily seeing psychiatrists in various cities for the next 8 years. But no one mentioned depression.
which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.
I first saw the word applied to my condition in a letter one psychiatrist wrote to the draft board during the Vietnam era. But I wasn’t treated for that problem. Therapy in those days was still in the Freudian tradition, and it was all about family life and conflict. Depression was a springboard for going deeper. Digging up the past to understand present problems was a tremendous help, and it changed me in many ways. But depression was still there in various forms, reappearing regularly for the next couple of decades. There were wonderfully happy and successful times as well, but I had these ups and downs through marriage, children and a couple of careers. https://pirevolution.blogspot.com/2020/03/story-of-survivor-depression-part-1.html?m=1
Gradually, depression became so disruptive that my wife couldn’t take it anymore and demanded I get help. So I finally did. This was the 1990s. Prozac had arrived, and I started a tour of medication over the next dozen years that didn’t do much at all. Nor did therapy, though two psychiatrists helped me to understand the more destructive patterns in my way of living.
Bleed |
The strange thing was that after all these years of living with it, I didn’t know very much about depression. I thought it was entirely a problem of depressed mood and loss of the energy and motivation. As things got worse, I finally started to read about it in great depth.
You are strong. You are beautiful. You are resilient. You are loved. You are capable. You are not weak. You are not defected. You are not weird. You are not a lost cause. You are not different.
CONTINUE READING STORY OF A SURVIVOR EPISODE 2
Drop a comment and share, you will not know whose life will be inspired. We appreciate your feedback. Thank you! https://pirevolution.blogspot.com/?m=1
Great Read ❤
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